I went home Wednesday. No one was expecting me. The house was quiet. The garage was empty. I figured everyone went shopping. That was good. It would give me time to rest. I was extremely exhausted. The drive over here was tiresome. I wasnt coughing. But my body was weak. I lost a lot of weight. Most of it muscle tone.

I came upstairs. Hoping to crash in Lizzys room. But I wasnt ready for what I saw. Lizzy was home in bed. So was her best friend Maria. They were kissing each other. I was considerably dizzy. The stairs took a lot out of me. I thought I was seeing things. I watched them for a few seconds. They were definitely making out. I didnt know what to do. I know I didnt want to deal with it. So I just went into Hannas room and crashed.

It troubled me. The folks still havent accepted me. The fact that Im a lesbian. Aside from the past few days and Thanksgiving. Theyve been treating me like Im the family leper. I love Lizzy. I dont know what her situation is regarding Maria. Are they just friends experimenting? Or is it more? I dont know. But I do know I dont want her to suffer. I dont want the folks hating her. Thats why I dont understand the open door. Why did she leave the door open? Did she want to get caught?

I havent talked to her yet. I dont know what to say. I want to be supportive. But I also need to think about myself. The folks have been really nice to me. Taking care of me these past few days. I dont want them to find out about Lizzy. Because I know theyll blame me.