I was up all night. Making steady progress. Chipping away at the mountain. Then Lena called up. Someone was at the front door. It was Kaya.

I shouldve turned her away. Told her I was too busy. But I didnt. I brought her up here. She was wearing a pink sweater. Tight faded blue jeans. So yummy. I dont recall what we said. It was only a few exchanges. Then we were kissing. It happened so fast. She tasted delicious. Like fresh oranges.

Then I said something. I think it was I love you. Or something like that. She stopped kissing. Pushed me away. Gave me that pained look. She wanted to say something. Her mouth opened. I could see her throat working. But nothing came out. She just turned around and left.

I watched her go down the stairs. I wanted to yell out to her. I wanted to scream. I did neither. I just crawled into bed. Silently bawled my head off. Thats where I am right now. Still in bed. Nearly ten hours later. Hurting like hell.