Friday and yesterday morning. It all seemed like a dream. Like that lesbian orgy. Or peeing on nurse Julie. It was surreal. If I didnt have the photos. Or yesterdays diary entry. I wouldnt have believed it.

It was all pure and innocent. We were there for a friend. We provided love. Warm hugs. Sweet kisses. We cried. Dried the tears. Curbed the pain. Then we partied. We celebrated independence. We didnt need boys. We didnt need girls. We had each other. True friends. Thats all we required. True friendship.

It was perfect. We crashed at Christinas. It was all hugs and kisses. We snuggled together. Safe and warm under the covers. Everything seemed perfect. Except for my momentary fit of sexual energy. But even that was controlled. I didnt get naked. I didnt grope or molest. I took it to the bathroom. Masturbated with quiet restraint. Took the photos. Made my entry in here. Then I returned. Fully sated.

I dreamed about us. Our tight friendship. The dream felt good. But I awoke alone. In an empty bed. Ten hours had passed. Why was I alone? Why didnt they wake me? I phoned Christina. She was at her boyfriends place. She sounded strange. She said they woke up all sobered. Felt kind of weird. So they bailed their separate ways.

I couldnt believe it. The words she that she said. They felt "weird" about it. Weird how? Because we slept in the same bed? Weve done that before. Not all four of us. But weve each done that before. Besides its not like we had sex or anything. Heck we werent even naked. We just held each other. They freaked out about that? Even Holly? I know The Girl is straight. Christina is straight. But I thought Holly would be ok. I dont know. Im still waiting to hear from her. Maybe it was fear. Conformity. Maybe she just agreed to conform. I could understand that.

Im glad for Lexis and Jenna. They popped in earlier. Brought chocolate and porn. But more importantly they brought hugs.