I didnt sleep with Lisa. She was my target. I needed sex. The urge had been building. I knew I couldnt touch Kaya. Holly was out of the question. So I chose Lisa. We had history. She would have been so easy to take. I had softened her somewhat. Primed her for the attack. But I didnt close the deal. I could have. But I didnt. I think it was the right decision. Why open another can?

The girls took me lingerie shopping today. We bought a bunch of stuff. Modeled it for each other. They looked so sexy. It was weird. Theyre grown up now. Even Lizzy. They have their own lives. Theyre going to make mistakes. Just like I did. I want to protect them. I want to tell them stuff. But I know I cant reveal everything. I think thats what went wrong with Hanna. I told her too much stuff. She wasnt ready for it.

I was aware when it happened today. They started teasing me. Commenting on the sales girl. They said she was eyeing me. In the past I wouldve played along. Pushed things to the edge. But today I didnt. I cant do that stuff in front of them anymore. Its just wrong.

They were right though. I think the sales girl was scoping me. But not for what they thought.