Its been a while. A lot has happened. I was in the hospital. My heart fucked me over. Quite a shock. But Im ok now. On medication. My doctor told me to take it easy. But I missed a lot of classes. Had a lot of catching up to do. I couldnt just forfeit the quarter. Not after busting my ass. So I forged ahead. Made it through finals. Now I can take it easy. Let all of this bullshit sink in.

Shit. I fell asleep again. How pathetic? I feel like an old lady. Tired and weak. Even after 26 hours of sleep. Im too tired to even frig myself. Not even for the nurses. Those lovely nurses. Especially nurse Julie. We shared an intimate moment.

She was installing my catheter. It hurt like hell. The tube was too big. It felt like a fucking garden hose. I was brave though. I didnt whine or cry. But nurse Julie noticed my discomfort. So she stopped pushing and started rubbing. It felt nice. Her gloved fingers. Slick with lube. She rubbed the pain away. But my bladder was full. I had been holding it from before. Now it was ready to burst.

I reminded her that I needed to go. She told me to wait a little longer. It would only be another minute. Then she pressed the tube against me again. Thats when I lost control. I started peeing. It was horrible. So fucking embarrassing. Losing control like that. In front of a stranger. Peeing all over the hospital bed. I started crying. Nurse Julie was apologetic. She calmed me. Cupped my pussy. Contained the spray. Told me not to worry. It felt weird peeing in her hand. But I dont think she minded.

I have memories of her doing other stuff. Really weird and bizarre stuff. Lots of anal probing and peeing. But none of thats real. Its just stuff that I remember from my dreams. Really weird and bizarre dreams.