We were standing in line Tuesday. Holly and me. I was wearing a sweater. But what I really needed was a jacket. Holly was better prepared. She wore her full length wool coat.

I nudged her shoulder. Waited until she turned around. Then I started unbuttoning her coat. She asked me what I was doing. I told her I was freezing. I slipped my arms inside her coat. Around her warm body. It felt wonderful. She was wearing sweats underneath. The warmth was unbelievable. It was a one-sided hug. Again I told Holly that I was freezing. Then I begged her to be a friend and warm me up. She relaxed her body. Wrapped her arms around me. Started rubbing my back.

So there we were in public. Rubbing each others bodies. There were guys all around us standing in line. Wearing big thick jackets. They were just gaping at us. With stupid grins on their faces. None of them volunteered to warm me up. Not that I would have accepted. But still they should have asked. I mean normally they do. But thats only when Im by myself.

So we hugged in public. It was just to get me warm. But I felt like doing more. If I was with Kaya we would have done more. Like nuzzling each other. Whispering naughty stuff. I would have pushed my hands down into her sweatpants. I almost did that Tuesday. Just to warm my hands. But then I realized who I was with. Holly wouldnt have understood. She would have freaked. Shes too vanilla.

Ive been thinking about that this whole week. Comparing Holly to Kaya. Its like apples and oranges. Kaya and I really meshed well. Holly scares me. Shes too prim and proper. I dont want to corrupt her.