I had a sexy dream. It was about jewels and Jewell.

They would steal the jewels. Give them to me. Im a foreign banker. I would take them out discreetly. No one would suspect me. We would divide the jewels later. Woody Harrelson is the burglar. But he fucks up. Gets himself locked in the bank vault. They call the cleaner. Its Ziyi Zhang. She has two tasks. Dispose of Woody. Hand me jewels. But she fucks up too. She gets me the jewels. But allows Woody to escape. Its a big mess. The police know Woody did it. They search for him. If they find him he will squeal on us. I track down Woody. He is frantic. I ask him where he is. He tells me he is going to his hideout. I tell him I will protect him. He gives me directions. I go there. Down the dirt roads. Inside the swamp. I ask for directions. They send me down a road. It is filled with shacks side by side. Each shack has a Woody lookalike. Very clever of him. The last shack is different. Sharon Lawrence opens it. She is wearing a white tunic. I ask her questions. She goes off to bring me iced tea. I look inside the shack. There are actresses in there. I recognize them. Catherine Zeta Jones is topless. Her boobs bounce as she walks. She curls her arm around Jewells waist. I see Naomi Judd. Meryl Streep. Teri Hatcher. Madelaine Stowe. Meg Ryan. But theyre in their 20s. I walk to the other side. Look through the window. Jewell is topless. I spy on her tits. Something catches my eye outside. Outside along the wall is Jewell. Her top is back on. But she is looking at me. I look inside the shack. She is there topless. Look outside she isnt topless. She is both inside and outside. At the same time. I look inside. Try to stare at anything beside her tits. I know she is watching me stare at her tits. I look outside at her. She is licking her lips at me. I need to find Woody. I need to kill him. Steal his harem. But first I want Jewells jewels. Soft puffy jewels. I reach out...

Thats when I fucking woke up. Always at the good part.